Trouble Date
Trouble Date is the 7th episode of (pat)Rick Figures. Transcript (At a French restaurant, L'amour Bikini, SpongeBob and the woman from Flame War are seated at a table.) Squirrel: This is such a nice restaurant. French cuisine? You're so cultural, Blue. SpongeBob: ¡Gracias! Squirrel: What's your favorite dish? SpongeBob: (picks up the menu) Oh, you know! All the hits like, Beef "Borgnonion" ('''Bourguignon')'' and, uh, French Onion "Sop" ('''Soup').... '''Squirrel': I didn't know you spoke French! SpongeBob: Konichiwa. (???, who is seated near them, heard Blue.) ???: Wwwhat?! SpongeBob: When I was in Paris, I had the most delicious bowl of-- Shit! (Patrick kicks down the restaurant door and trots in with a violet woman in his grasp while tongue-kissing her.) Squirrel: (referring to what Blue was saying) Oh, is that a French dish? SpongeBob: Uh... it-- it means salmon... Squirrel: (suspicious) You had a bowl of salmon? Patrick: (off-screen) Hey, Blue! SpongeBob: Oh, no... Patrick: (on-screen with violet woman) ♪I just got a new girlfriend. (points at the violet woman, who leans on him, then points at the pink woman) Who's that? That's your new girlfriend!♪ (points at the fat ugly girl, who is seated right behind them) I told you to go home. (Somber music plays as she walks away.) SpongeBob: (music stops) Oh, uh, this is Sandy. Patrick: And this is... what's your name? Violet woman: (ditsy voice) My name's Stacy. (Leans on the table while Patrick leans back a little, trying to peek through her skirt.) Patrick: Really?! (Patrick sits next to SpongeBob) Patrick: Hi. SpongeBob: Dude! You're ruining our first date, get the fuck out of here! Patrick: Yeah, right! Someone's getting laid tonight. (In whisper) It's me! Up top! French waiter: (sets a plate of food on the table) Bon appétit. Stacy: You kiss your mouth with that motheeer?! SpongeBob: (to Sandy) I'm so sorry. (She glares at him suspiciously.) French waiter: (sets a plate of oysters on the table) Your oysters, monsieur. (Patrick picks up an oyster.) SpongeBob: Uh, buddy, that's my dinner... (Patrick and Stacy look at each other seductively. Patrick opens the oyster shell and sticks his tongue out.) SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing?! (Patrick rubs the oyster all over his face.) Oh, God, that's gross! Aah... (Stacy pulls out a long baguette from a bread basket.) SpongeBob: No! (Stacy starts putting it in her mouth.) Sandy: (staring with shock) ''Ew... '''Patrick': (his eye pupils shrink) The whole loaf! (Stacy swallows it whole.) Sandy: Ugh! (Patrick devours SpongeBob and Sandy's ice cream fudge and cherry dessert, which resembles two breasts.) SpongeBob: Aaand there goes our romantic dessert. (Patrick chuckles with his mouth full.) Stacy: Oh, baby. (Grabs the table's candle.) SpongeBob: Oh, what are you doing? (Stacy starts licking it upward.) Oh, no! Oh, no!! OH, NO!! Aah! (Stacy blows the flame onto the floral centerpiece.) SpongeBob: All right, THAT'S IT-! (Suddenly, Patrick and Stacy grab each other and make out on the table, which has caught fire.) Sandy: (sighs) Take me home. Stacy: Oh, take me home! (Continues making out with Red.) Patrick: Oh, yeah! Let's go have sex in Blue's bed! (He and Stacy get set on fire.) SpongeBob: Check plea--. Soundtrack TBA Category:Episodes Category:FDBackup Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts Category:2018 Category:2018 Episodes